2001 Series - The Transformed Life
Romans 12-13

In the Trenches - Part III

Romans 12: 14-16

We’re doing a series from Romans 12 and 13, verse by verse, looking at the transformed life. This morning our focus will be 3 verses from chapter 12; 14, 15 and 16.

“Bless those who persecute you. Bless and curse not. Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not be haughty in mind but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.”

Three simple verses. They’re going to be easy to understand. In fact they are relevant to every one of us this morning who is a Christian. It doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl, a teenager or an adult. Every one of us can understand these three verses and there’s something here for every one of us to apply, which means we all have to listen. God has something for us, something that we can take and actually put into practice as soon as we leave this place this morning. So let’s pray and ask Him to teach us.

Father, guide us, now, as we go into Your word. Father, You have been showing us what it’s like to live the transformed life. I pray that once again You would add to that picture for us this morning. Father, speak to our hearts. We all can understand this, Lord. I pray that You will just drive into us a commitment and a determination to put these things into practice. Father, do that please, by Your Holy Spirit. In Christ’s name. Amen.

In chapter 12, verse 2, Paul said, “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed …” and we’ve been looking at what that transformed life is like. That’s what Paul is presenting as he goes through. I don’t know if you caught this on the news this week, but in England a scientist has begun a research project. He is researching a particular question, “When a slice of bread is dropped to the floor, what are the odds that it will land butter side down?” Someone is paying a lot of money for this study and this scientist has asked for the help of students all over England because he wants to have as many as a million “drops” of bread in this study so that he can get an accurate conclusion as to the odds of a slice of bread landing butter side down. Now, I have a much more significant question for us to consider today and that question is, “How does a follower of Jesus Christ live the transformed life in the trenches, every day.” How does that look? I’m not supposed to be conformed to the world. I’m supposed to be transformed. I’m supposed to be different. How does that look? How do I live that different kind of life? That’s a far more important question than how a slice of bread lands on the floor and you won’t have to pay a thing to hear the answer. It’s right here in the Word of God and we’ve been looking at it. Paul is presenting a picture for us of how you live that life every day, that different life. In verses 3-8, we found out it involves thinking a certain way about yourself, to think rightly about yourself, that you are part of a group, you’re part of a body, the Body of Christ, and that in that Body you need each other – interdependence, and that in that Body you’ve been gifted by God in order to serve the others in that body. That’s how a person is to think in the transformed life.

Then we learned that in the transformed life, we genuinely love each other, we don’t pretend. We have family love, this kindred loyalty to each other. We honor one another above ourselves in the transformed life. The person living the transformed life, Paul says, abhors what is evil and clings to what is good. And then last week, we added three more teachings to this picture. In the transformed life, we serve the Lord with passion. We don’t lose that edge; we don’t lose that zeal. We serve Him with passion. And we go through affliction with hope and prayer and we share our home and our possessions with those in need. That’s the transformed life. It’s practical. It’s lived in the trenches of everyday living.

Today we move on and we add four more parts to this picture of the transformed life. In verses 14-16 of Romans 12, these 4 things all have to do with relationships, how we relate to certain people. First of all, how we relate to people who are persecuting us, then how we relate to people who are rejoicing; third how we relate to people who are grieving, and fourth how in the transformed life we relate to people who are lowly. So we’re going to talk about relationships this morning because the transformed life should affect our relationships. If you are a Christian this morning and you have not seen the presence of Jesus Christ in your life over those years affecting your relationships something is wrong, because when Jesus Christ is in a life and He’s transforming that life, it will affect our relationships. Let’s see how it affects these 4 relationships.

First, with people who persecute us. Paul says in verse 14, “Bless those who persecute you. Bless and curse not.” The people that Paul is writing to, these Christians in the city of Rome, I’m sure, knew what persecution was about. Becoming a Christian in the Roman Empire was not an easy thing. First of all it was brand new. Society was not used to this thing called Christianity. Now, in our society people are fairly used to it. They’ve heard the term, they’ve met people that claim to be followers of Christ, but in the Roman culture that was new, that was different, this Christianity. Neighbors and friends and family members were becoming Christians, followers of this Jesus Christ. People didn’t know how to react to that. Many saw it as a threat. Some felt that because these folks were leaving their old religion that they had practiced for so long that they were also leaving their families, so families had a hard time with people becoming Christians. The government for a while in Rome tolerated this, but after a while it was even a threat to them. One of the religions in Rome was emperor worship, and to have people starting to pledge their allegiance to someone called Jesus Christ was a threat. So as a result, there was persecution. The people Paul is writing to were probably experiencing that in different forms. So the question is how do you relate as a Christian to people who are persecuting you? How do you do that in this transformed life? Paul says this is how you do it. It’s rather unbelievable. He says you bless those people. You BLESS those who are persecuting you and you don’t curse them. To bless is to speak well of, to wish good. To curse is to pray against, to speak against. Paul says to these people, “you want to be different, you want to be transformed? Then in your relationship with those people who are persecuting you for your faith, you bless them. Don’t do what everything about you wants you to do, curse them. You bless them.” That was different but the transformed life is different.

All of us who are Christians experience persecution in some way. I think every one of us could name at least one person in our life who in some form or another has or is persecuting us for our faith and our walk with Christ. It might be somebody in your family, it might be somebody at school, it might be someone at work. But every one of us can probably point to at least one person who is in some way giving us a hard time because of our faith. Maybe it’s in the form of ostracizing us. They want nothing to do with us. That’s persecution. Maybe it’s in the form of coming right out and saying something to us, putting us down, teasing us because we believe in Jesus Christ. Maybe in some cases it’s even worse than that. Maybe they are actually mistreating you, being unjust and unfair to you because of your faith. But I think all of us in some way or another have someone in our life who we could say is a persecutor. And isn’t it true that somewhere down the line when we experience that opposition, we wish just for a little while we could practice voodoo and get that doll and stick those pins in there and just say CURSE YOU and just get back at those people for their lack of understanding and the way they treat us and what they say. But you know if we did that, we’d be conforming to the world. That’s how they handle opposition. Romans 12:2 says don’t be conformed to this world. Be transformed, and Paul says part of that transforming is getting to the place where you will even bless the people who are persecuting you. You won’t speak evil of them. You won’t want to curse them. You won’t pray against them. You will be kind. You will pray for them. You will do good to them. Back in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 7 Jesus says that very thing. He talks about those who despitefully use you, those who persecute you and mistreat you. And He says do good to them. Bless them, pray for them. That’s different, but that’s the transformed life. Bless those who persecute you. Do not curse, bless them.

Another group of people would be those who are rejoicing, and I think we’re going to take the second and third groups together because there is some similarity there. In verse 15 he talks about people around us in our life who are rejoicing and then people who are (in your Bible it might say) weeping, but the word actually is very specific. It deals with grief. That’s why they’re weeping. So you have people who are rejoicing and people who are grieving. In the transformed life how do we relate to those people? Well, in a word – sensitivity. We share in their experience, in their feelings. Paul says rejoice with those who rejoice. If they’re rejoicing you share in that with them. If they’re grieving you share in that with them. Grieve with those who grieve. And that’s not always easy. When it comes to grieving with people who grieve some of us find that very difficult. We would rather separate ourselves from that whole area because we don’t know what to say, we don’t know what to do. And yet, scripture says in the transformed life you grieve with those who grieve. Show compassion. Every one of us right now could think of someone in our life who’s grieving over some type of loss. They’re grieving. Are we grieving along with them? Are we allowing that, because we care about them, to touch us? And are we sharing in that grief, loving them in that way?

You might be familiar with the name Joseph Bailey. He’s written a number of books and he was a man who experienced grief. He lost a couple sons to death. And this is something that he wrote about grief in that experience. He said, “I was sitting torn by grief. Someone came and talked to me of God’s dealings of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly. He said things I knew were true but I was unmoved except to wish he’d go away, which he finally did. Another came and sat beside me. He didn’t talk. He didn’t ask leading questions. He just sat beside me for an hour or more, listened when I said something, answered briefly, prayed simply and left. I was moved. I was comforted. I hated to see him go.” Often we shy away from grieving with those who grieve because we don’t what to say. We don’t have to say a thing, just be there. Share in what’s happening. Show we care. That’s part of living the transformed life. It’s to be sensitive to people in that way, to grieve with those who grieve.

We rejoice with those who rejoice and I’m going to suggest to you that sometimes that’s even more difficult than grieving with those who grieve. You see, so often people are rejoicing over things we wish had happened to us. People are being honored for things that we really would like to be honored for. They’re experiencing a great amount of joy in their life and we wish we could. As a result, it’s very difficult for us to share in that feeling that they have and rejoice with those who rejoice. Last night we had a wedding here and many of us rejoiced with those who rejoiced. We rejoiced with the Dahle family and the Berkfalk family as they came together, and a son and a daughter were united in marriage. They were happy, they were rejoicing and we came together and rejoiced with them. It wasn’t so with my best friend at my wedding. He was and still is my best friend and was my best man, and that weekend was miserable for Mike because he wished it was him. And he was honest with me and he said he didn’t enjoy my wedding and he was miserable. I appreciated the honesty, but he did not rejoice with those who were rejoicing. Why? Because he wanted to be in that position, rejoicing, and he wasn’t. And he just couldn’t get himself to share in my joy. That happens often for us, doesn’t it? We get so competitive, so competitive that when a friend or family member or someone else is rejoicing and being honored, sometimes it’s even difficult for us to share in that. We wish it were us. My neighbor, John, is a fellow who I grew up with. We went through all 12 years of school together. We walked to school together. We listened to Twins games together all summer long, every summer. We played on ball teams together, we did everything together. But as happens between friends, there was this competition, this unspoken competition, and because of that I would feel good when he made a mistake on the basketball court. We were on the same team and yet I would actually feel good about it. Or at football practice, it would actually give me a little measure of joy when the coach would get after him, because even though we were friends there was this competitive spirit. So it was very hard to rejoice with him when he rejoiced, to be glad when he was honored because I wanted that, based on our little competition. And that happens more often than we think. It happens in the Body of Christ. In 1 Corinthians 12:25,26 Paul talks about, in the Body of Christ, pertaining to the gifts, how important it is that everyone is honored for the different gifts that they bring to the body, no matter what that gift is, no matter how it seems, big/important or small and insignificant. But there should be the same honor for everyone and when someone is honored all the others rejoice. That doesn’t always happen in the Body of Christ. We wish we had that gift. We wish we were involved in that ministry. We wish God would use us that way, so instead of honoring that person and rejoicing with them when God uses them, we just kind of sit back and say nothing and do nothing. Inside we’re wishing it was us and not them. We need to be more sensitive and loving to each other.

In the transformed life we are so connected that we will grieve when the others grieve and we will rejoice when the others rejoice, and that can be hard work because it seems there’s always both going on at the same time. Usually there is someone in our life rejoicing and usually there is someone grieving. So in one setting I’m grieving with the ones who are grieving and then just a few hours later in another setting I’m rejoicing with those who are rejoicing. Sometimes it becomes hard work because I’m going back and forth, but that’s the transformed life. That’s what we’re called to. We’re a body. Sure it’s not the way the world does it. They’re not sensitive to each other like that, but it’s the transformed life to rejoice with those who rejoice and grieve with those who grieve.

The fourth group of people Paul calls the lowly in verse 16. He says, “Be of the same mind toward one another (in other words, think the same toward one another). Don’t be haughty. Associate with the lowly. Don’t be so wise in your own estimation.” These are the lowly, those of, by some standards, low position, low status, different from me, and therefore I consider their position low. Maybe it’s economically. Maybe it’s their background. Maybe it’s the family they come from. Maybe it’s their reputation -- whatever it might be but the lowly. Paul says don’t get haughty in your mind. Don’t think you’re better than the lowly. Associate with them. Think the same toward one another. Don’t think differently toward different people based on the level you’ve decided they are at. In other words don’t keep a list and put certain people on that list – they’re the people that I will have relationships with – and then those you keep off the list are those you will not have relationships with because they don’t meet the requirements. There’s something about them. Do you have a list? Do you have a mental list of some kind? A list made up of the people that you will relate to and those off the list, for whatever reason you’ve decided, don’t meet up to the standards of the list and therefore you will not relate to them? Boys and girls are there kids at school that you’ve kept off your list and said I don’t want anything to do with those kids? Maybe it’s because of their family. Maybe it’s because of how they dress. Maybe it’s because they aren’t great athletes. Maybe it’s because they don’t do well in school. Maybe it’s because they act up all the time, but for whatever reason, you’ve left them off your list and said I’m not going to have anything to do with those kids. Only these. What you’ve done is you’ve put yourself above those people, and Paul says in the transformed life we think the same toward everyone. We don’t get haughty. We don’t think we’re better than someone else. We associate with the lowly. And that’s different. But that’s the transformed life. It’s supposed to be different.

Here’s a little poem:

I was hungry and you formed a humanities club and discussed my hunger.

I was in prison and you crept off quietly to your chapel to pray for my release.

I was naked and in your mind you debated the morality of my appearance.

I was sick and you knelt and thanked God for your health.

I was homeless and you preached to me about the spiritual shelter of the love of God.

I was lonely and you left me alone to pray for me.

You seem so holy, so close to God, but I’m still very hungry and lonely and cold.

Those are some of the people we’ve left off the list too, aren’t they? The lonely, the people who are in trouble and cause trouble, the hungry, the sick. They just don’t meet the requirements of our list of who I will relate to. Paul says in the transformed life you have the same mind toward everyone. You don’t put yourself above anybody, and you’re willing to even associate with the lowly, whatever way you define lowly.

So there you have 3 situations.

I have the people persecuting me. How do I deal with that in the transformed life? I bless them. I pray for them. I do good. I don’t curse them.

I have the people who are either rejoicing or grieving in their lives. What do I do about that? In the transformed life I share in those feelings. I’m sensitive. I grieve with those who grieve and I rejoice with those who rejoice.

And then I have the people in my life who are the lowly ones, by whatever standard I’ve determined lowly. They’re different from me, and I’m not supposed to be partial. They are to be included on my list and I will relate to them and I will let them be a part of my life and I will love them. That’s the transformed life. It’s interesting if you go back through those different kinds of people, you can find situations in the gospels as to how Jesus treated all four kinds of people in his life. He was persecuted. He had persecutors in his life. How did He treat them? He certainly didn’t curse them. He didn’t try to get back at them. He didn’t stick pins in dolls. He blessed them. He said good of them. He was kind to them. How did He treat those who rejoiced? He shared in their joy. I remember the time the disciples came back and they were so excited about their experiences and Jesus just enjoyed that and rejoiced with them. I’m sure they didn’t do it as well as He would have done it, but He shared in their joy. And then He grieved with those who grieved. He even wept with them, literally. And the lowly? Sometimes He got in trouble for including the lowly on His list. That reminds me that the transformed life is a Christlike life. The way you treat people in the transformed life is different and that’s the way God wants it – different. Because we are not to conform to the world and treat the persecutors like they do and those who rejoice or grieve like they do or the lowly like they do. We’re to be transformed and treat them as Jesus would.

I would like you to focus on putting actual names to each one of these types of relationships. If you want to live the transformed life what does God say you need to be doing for that person who persecutes you in some way or another? You bless that person. You don’t curse that person. You don’t speak evil against that person. You pray for that person. You do good to that person. That’s the transformed life.

What about the person who, for whatever reason right now, is rejoicing. How does God want you, in the transformed life, to relate to that person? He wants you to share in the rejoicing. Rejoice with them. Even if you wish you were in their shoes and you feel bad because you’re not. You rejoice because they’re rejoicing.

Think of the name of a person right now that’s grieving, whatever their loss might be, you know they’re grieving. How does God want you to relate to that person? He wants you to grieve with that person. Share in that grief. Show compassion. Don’t avoid that person. Don’t stay away out of discomfort. Share in the grief. They need you.

What about someone in your life that you would consider lowly, that you think would fit that term? Lowly person, different from you. The kind of person that many would rather have nothing to do with. We all have them in our lives. Put their name down. Think of their name. In the transformed life, how should you relate to that person? The same as you would relate to anyone else. Don’t be haughty and think you’re better than them. Be willing to relate to them and associate with them and be Jesus in their life.

Do you have 4 names? Are you willing to live the transformed life with those 4 people even if no one else is? Are you willing to be different? Let’s bow and pray about those 4 relationships. I would like you to go through your list of 4 names and pray about your relationships with each of those persons and how God would want you to relate to them – the persecutor, the one who’s rejoicing, the one who’s grieving and that lowly person. Talk to God about those 4 people right now.

Our Father, each of these 4 persons that we have thought of in the last minutes and even prayed about now are persons that you love. And Father, each one of them is playing a different role in our lives right now. One is a persecutor. Help us, Father, to resist the temptation to get back at them. To speak evil of them, to curse them. Help us to be different, to bless them, to do good and pray for them. Father, one of these persons is rejoicing right now. You’ve allowed something really neat to happen in their life. They’re being honored. There’s a tremendous amount of joy for them. Father, even though deep inside we may wish it was us, I pray that you would help us to just move that aside and to rejoice with them and to just be glad because they’re glad and express that. One of these persons, Father, is grieving. They’ve experienced a loss and they’re grieving, some of them so deeply. And God, maybe we have tried to just stay out of it. We haven’t known what to say or do. Father, give us the compassion to be there and to grieve with them and to share in that time with them. And one of these people, Lord, we’ve decided would be considered lowly for whatever reason, the kind of person that others might shy away from, not put on their list of people to relate to. God, I pray that you would help us to get those people back on our list. Show us how to relate to them. Show us how to humble ourselves to be willing to show them the love of Jesus, include them in our lives. Father, as we go from here, help us to live the transformed life in the trenches, every day, in relationships with these kind of people, these special people, these people that you love. In Christ’s name. Amen.